Yeah, Valentine's Day has not been among my top holidays, and it always seems like my feelings of being left out are greatest at this time of year. It's not just about romance. It's a sense of "me also" that creeps into different sphere's of my life until I suddenly sit back and go "what am I doing? Why am I so vulnerable?"So while working on what was supposed to be this week's story, I had to stop and slap myself. Out came a poem as a reminder. Almost every time I get in this mindset, I end up disappointed by what I thought I wanted. So much of our current culture, through social media, is infused with "look at me!" (she says just before she pushes this post out on it - gack!)
Still, writing the poem was cathartic. It was a good reminder that at the top of my Valentine's Day list should be remembering to love myself, and check that proverbial glass - remembering to note the part that is full, not just the other bit.
***
Reminding Myself
by Judith Cullen
©2018
A conversation,
a convocation,
a somewhere that you are not.
A conflagration,
of contemplation,
you should be there, without doubt.
Why should it matter,
this us and them-i-ness.
Why would you suffer to care?
Because they are there
and I am here.
Desiring for "in" brings despair.
Move aside for a moment
step away from your craze,
and look with dispassionate calm.
When what is there
becomes that which is here,
will it be expectations true balm?
So banish the hunger,
the frenzy and yearning,
cherish the "here" you possess.
It is filled with the toil,
the achievements of years,
without any need to impress.
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