JUST ONE MORE . . .

I had a dream almost a week ago - powerful, vivid.  It surprised and annoyed me.  I wrote this poem several times as a result, mostly in the car driving to work.  Unfortunately, those "commuter editions" are lost forever, and I think they were better than this version, in some ways.  But such are the transient nature of dreams.

Another One

By Judith Cullen  (c) 2014

My dream was filled with him

Unexpectedly saturated with

Food

Laughter

Good Company

And the comforting tambor

Of his voice.

It was held firmly, my hand

Wrapped in his as we

Connected

Every way

Everywhere

Surrounded with the vigorous intoxication

Of his presence.

The inevitable moment, for me

Pulling so close

Muscle

Breath

Warmth

Speaking with my heart

“I love you.”

A pause whose silence echoes

The break between

Chemistry

Comradery

And conscience

An infernal gambit between

“yes” and “I’m sorry.”

They would not release, his arms

When I pushed away

Hurt

Wounded

Embarrassed

Firmly they restrained, prevented

My escape from his regrets.

Not enough in waking moments

To know the truth of that pause

“I love you”

“I know”

“I’m sorry”

Why did it have to infect

My dreams as well?